Imagine Steve Jobs for President

Will somebody please just f—ing shoot me now. It’s far too early in the morning, I shouldn’t be this hung-over given the f—ing disgracefully early hour at which the booze ran out, and when I stumble to my Mac for a look at some Dutch tarts to shock the old system into some form of life I’m greeted by a request from Ed. Stupot Stuart to comment on the latest steaming pile of t—s from Danny Dilger.

In the interest of research — and to kill time until feeling returned to my outer extremities — I attempted to read a few older posts at this “Roughly Drafted” site. I wish I’d spent the time repeatedly slamming my c— in a drawer instead. Daniel Eran Dilger is what people are thinking of when they call Mac users “self-important fanboy c—s”. He makes Grüber look objective.

I’m not sure what the point of this “Imagine Steve Jobs for President” piece is. I think I’ve narrowed it down to one of “Steve Jobs is the white Barak Obama” or “Barak Obama is the black Steve Jobs”.

But I’ve never been one to resist answering an abstract preposition, so: yes, I can image Steve Jobs for President. Further, I can Imagine America under a Steve Jobs presidency. It would be a land of totalitarian rule and unbelievably great design. In short, it would be Nazi Germany.

• Roughly Drafted