News Roundup for November the 11th

There’s a lot of bad news knocking around at the moment. I just wish there was something I could do to avoid reporting it. (I mean, apart from giving everyone the day off, like yesterday.) But since there’s no way to avoid it, I’ll just have to get it over with as quickly as possible: Dell’s iPod-killer is not going to happen. Sorry, I know how unbearable the look on little Jimmy’s face is going to be when he tears off the wrapping paper on Holiday morning and finds Santa’s left him a Nano instead. But if you think he’s going to be disappointed, just think how Rob Enderle feels right now.

So why, you may ask, do we lead with Dell news? Have I accidentally browsed over to delleclectic.com? It seems that when Apple said their holiday line-up was complete, their spokesman failed to add “and we’re all going to take the rest of the year off.” And we’re not just talking about Mark Papermaster. There is nothing happening. But since when has a lack of solid news ever deterred the Apple blogosphere? Let’s make with the speculating!

We’ll warm up with a little gentle ‘analysis,’ like predicting a cut-price entry-level iPhone and an ultra-portable MacBook. But not this ultra-portable MacBook, obviously. No, let’s just pretend that when reports say Apple are cutting notebook production, they’re talking size, not quantity.

Warmed up? Good. Then let’s tackle the succession question. When Steve finally abdicates, it looks like Tim Cook is a shoo-in to fill in his, erm, shoes. Cue numerous profiles of the man who would be CEO. Mac Daily News calls him ‘demanding and unemotional,’ which makes me wonder if there’s something Mac Daily News isn’t disclosing about their relationship with the COO. Meanwhile, let’s leave it to Valleywag to show us how this person-based gossip thing is done, with the insinuation that Cook, um, was really against Proposition 8.

Okay, so maybe not everyone at Apple has been given the rest of the year off. News reaches us that the App Store ban hammer has once again been wielded. MacWorld’s iPhone central — your #1 source for iPhone case reviews — reports that an update to existing iPhone app CastCatcher has been rejected due to high bandwidth usage. Meanwhile, Macenstein tells us that Aqua Obama, a game where you attempt to flick the President Elect’s disembodied noodle into a series of goals, has also been refused entry.

Wait a minute! I’ve only gone and found some good news. Sesame Street is coming to iTunes. Oh, and Speaking of Muppets, it looks like Sony BMG will finally be letting Apple sell their music DRM-free.

And a final word of advice to The Onion: leave the in-depth tech coverage to the professionals, okay?