Bob Says… Use Either Anti-Virus Software or Your Brain

The shills at The Mac Security Blog would like to bring to your attention a TechNote from Apple recommending that you install anti-virus software on your Mac. This is hardly surprising, given that The Mac Security Blog is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Intego, a company which makes anti-virus software — in particular something called VirusBarrier X5 which gets top billing on Apple’s list of must-have prophylactics. It’s hardly surprising that Intego thinks you need anti-virus software, in the same way that it’s hardly surprising that the tart who hangs about outside the newsagents on the corner thinks I need a handjob. And while I’ll concede that she may very well be right, you’re probably asking yourself, “Do I really need anti-virus software? I though Macs were virus-free. Has that tosser Justin Long being lying to me all this time?” Well I’m here to tell you that yes, you do need anti-virus software. If you haven’t got a f—ing brain.

I remember a time when Mac viruses were rife, and that day has passed. There was a time when you could catch God-knows-what from a scrofulous floppy, but UNIX-like security has neatly kicked most of that in the nadgers. The few viruses we see today are a pale imitation. I mean, honestly: politely asking for your password before they can infect your Mac? Don’t make me laugh. The latest one apparently poses as a codec needed to watch some porn. In this day of Flash video? Who honestly bothers? When I’ve got my trousers down around my ankles the last thing I’m going to be bothered about doing is installing f—ing codecs. But if you like to turn your brain off when you log on to the network, by all means buy yourself some anti-virus software. The rest of us will save our money.